I haven’t been very active on this blog in a while. The turmoil of preparing to leave and then deciding to stay in Japan is partly to blame. My work situation has changed a bit with a second school and a commute added. Once I get home, my time seems to get filled with other projects (yup, still making masks for myself to wear) or general life (cooking for myself despite getting bored of planning recipes).
I feel like I have less energy and time. It seems like I come home, sit down to catch my breath, and eat, and all of a sudden it’s 8 pm.
Where did the time go?
Maybe it’s just the 2020 effect. Sapping me of my motivation and energy while dealing with everything that’s going on. I’m lucky that my life hasn’t been too impacted by the pandemic, and things are more or less running as normal here in Japan. Everyone is mostly wearing masks, using hand sanitizer, and register lines are still distanced. But just like many other places, Japan is going through another rise in cases. Positive COVID cases are popping up closer, hospitals are filling, and everyone is getting ready to hunker down for winter.
I was recently given the yearly re-contracting papers. As a 5th year JET, I am at the limit and can no longer extend my contract. But everyone keeps asking, and indicating they would be happy for me to stay if it’s possible. On the one hand, this has been a little reassuring. Teaching isn’t my passion and I feel like someone else could do better work, so I worry that my work isn`t as good as it should be. But if the teachers and my Principal and Vice Principal are happy, then maybe my work is more satisfactory than I thought. It feels nice to know that others are happy with my work or that I’ve made a good impression. It’s tempting to want to continue that and stay in a safe and stable situation. I do enjoy Japan. But now I think I’m more at peace with the decision to leave.
I don’t have the same doubts or lingering attachment as I did last year, or even this summer. Even though the stability is attractive, I recognize that I’m not going to be able to progress in my career and life goals the way I would like to if I stayed in Japan. I have other projects I want to spend my time on and I can do that more efficiently outside of Japan. It’s hard, given the economic situation, to give up a stable setup, but it helps that I’m at the contract limit and can just go back home and live with my parents in the meantime, so that makes the decision a little easier.
Still going to England?
In terms of next year, everyone keeps asking if I’m still planning on going to England, especially given the current situation. From my perspective, pretty much everyone is going through another wave of infections, and England is still 9-10 months away for me. There is time for things to improve, vaccines are starting to roll out, and I’m going to try and be optimistic because I have already deferred twice. Worst case scenario, they will have had more experience and opportunities to iron things out when it comes to distanced learning and adjusting the curriculum to keep everyone safe. I plan on reaching out to the outgoing students from my program to see what their experience was this past year and what changes the curriculum experienced. I’m not going to make any big decisions now and hope for the best.
I am also, as usual, formulating new backup and short term plans. I have kept in touch with some of my biology/wildlife teachers and recently joined a local Facebook group for vet tech and animal-related jobs and internships. If it comes down to it, I can go back to volunteering/interning at these local places I’m familiar with and work on honing my practical skills again. My Master’s degree is still my planned next step, but it doesn’t hurt to have backups in mind.
Anyway, now that I’ve kind of come to terms with all that, I am going to try and spend my winter break relaxing and making plans for the new year.
